Monday, February 1, 2010

Modern Manners Monday

Gymnasiums are inherently cruel and unforgiving establishments, a place of toil not repose. Upon entering, one should observe the golden rule of etiquette: treat others with the courtesy and civility in which you would desire to be treated yourself.

1. If the facility is replete with patrons, limit your use of a single apparatus to 30 minutes.
2. Remove only what you will employ in a single activity. Do not commandeer three sets of free weights, stability and medicine balls throughout your stay.
3. Eradicate any scent which escapes your own space, whether it be fetid or fragrant.
4. Vacate only after all remnants of your presence have been eliminated. Most establishments provide resources to aid in removal.
5. If bathing on site, act as if a small child were present. Keep your bits sheathed.

With gratitude,



  1. Hear hear.
    Having spent time in Germany, I know the cultural norm with regard to point 5 to be starkly different. I am still recovering.

  2. Dear VB,

    As one whose current employ is for a large, German manufacturer, point 5 is more than a passing acquaintance of mine. Even clothed, little is left to one's imagination.



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