Modern Manners Monday: Fête Etiquette

Whilst business took me away from home for over a week, BTG received an invitation to an informal gathering on a Saturday evening. With his accustomed diversion 2,000 miles away, he reckoned an evening out would be the appropriate elixir for his loneliness. He had, after all, been briefed on the guest list as his journey would prove the most extensive and positively nettlesome when you factor in the driving skills of the locals. Many familiar names were disclosed; one, however, was conspicuous for its absence.

Upon his arrival, he delighted in the conviviality until he was met with the subject whose name had been concealed. The events of that evening were undeniably sullied because of this individual’s presence, not for BTG alone, but rather for all others in attendance. In fact, had he known of the individual’s participation, he would have politely declined the invitation.

It is natural for one to desire camaraderie amongst their varying coteries; however, one must acknowledge when oil and water refuse to commingle.

“When making up a guest list, a hostess or host must try to invite and put together those who are likely to be interesting to each other...Making a dinner list is a little like making a gift list. You put down what they will like (you hope), not what you like. People who are placed between congenial neighbors remember your dinner as delightful, but those who are not will need wild horses to drag them your way again.”

Emily Post’s Etiquette, 16th Edition